By Carolyn Wellm

As many of you know I am one of the wardens here at All Saints as well as part of the pastoral care team. As the pastoral care team started planning our Neighbourhood Party we hit on the theme of celebrating ageing for all ages. And in one of those lovely God gifted coincidences I now have an additional role with the Diocese, in partnership with The Selwyn Foundation and Age Concern, that focuses on supporting older people.

It was great to see some of you at the party last weekend, by the way.

This morning, I am going to continue to address the theme of ageing.

So first up some questions:

• Who here has ever thought about ageing?
• Who here has had positive thoughts about ageing?
• Who here has had negative thoughts about ageing?; and finally
• Who here IS ageing?
• That’s right EVERYONE is!

From Adam, who is now 9 months old, to our oldest attendee this morning, we are all born to age.

So, what is the definition of ageing:

Ageing refers to the process of becoming older; a gradual, continuous process of natural change.

I currently have the absolute privilege to work across generations and at both ends of the lifespan.

At Space, I walk alongside new parents as together we watch their babies age – there is so much growing and learning to do in those first few months. Of course, those who bring their babies along are also ageing as well as growing into their role as parents.

And in my new role as Selwyn Programme Development Manager, I am interacting with older people, listening to their stories, gaining valuable insights into their lives and looking at how we can offer them support when needed.

Our Bible readings this morning offered snapshots across the lifespan; from Genesis where we heard of a promised baby for Abraham and Sarah in their old age; to Joel where we heard the prophesy about God’s spirit being poured out on all manner and ages of people; and finally to the Gospel reading where Jesus used the example of a little child to illustrate true greatness.

So, in the Bible, as in real life, we can see that God is present with everyone, in every circumstance, regardless of their age.

However, it seems our world today has a particular slant when it comes to ageing; because even though everyone is ageing, AND we know that ageing is a natural process, there is often negativity associated with ageing.

You may have heard this negativity referred to as ageism.

And what is ageism?

Ageism refers to stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) toward others or, just as importantly, ourselves, based on age.

This can be towards anyone – not just older people; younger people experience it too.

Here are just a couple of examples:

Older adults might be subjected to negative stereotypes such as:

• “What do they think they are doing? They need to act their age!”
  Or they may direct negativity towards themselves:
• “I’m too old to learn this new technology.”

Younger adults might be subjected to negative stereotypes such as:

• “Young people nowadays have an inflated sense of entitlement.”
  Or they may direct negativity towards themselves:
• “There’s no point in applying for that position, they will be looking for someone with more experience.”

We know that ageism exists.

Age Without Limits, an organisation in the UK, states that “Ageism is the most widespread form of discrimination: anyone can experience it. However, while it can affect us at any age, its harmful impact is often felt most strongly as we get older. Once we are over 50, we are more likely to experience negative treatment. They found that nearly 2/3rd of people they surveyed reported being treated or spoken to negatively since turning 50.” (1)

And a 2020 poll in the US by the American Society on Aging found that 82% of adults aged 50–80 experienced ageism daily. (2)
So now that we have some clues into spotting ageism around us, the next step is to challenge it.

Why is it important to do this?

“Because when we have positive feelings about our own ageing, research tells us that we’re likely to live an average of 7 1/2 years longer.

Also, higher optimism has been associated with a more positive self-perception of ageing, which can lead to positive health consequences.

Yale gerontologist Dr. Becca Levy says:

“The single most important factor in determining longevity—more important than gender, income, social background, loneliness or functional health—is how people think about and approach the idea of old age.” (2)

One way that we can challenge ageism is to change the narrative around ageing.

I love this quote that I came across in preparation for today – “We need to reframe ageing as a passage of discovery and engagement, not decline and inaction.” (3)

This reminds me very much of the gift that I have most often found that small children offer us regularly– that of wonder! Our world is such an amazing place, especially when seen through the eyes of a child. Who amongst us remembers the opportunity to walk beside a child, stopping seemingly every few seconds to admire the leaf, the beetle, the dewdrops in the grass? And realizing that had we been alone, although we probably would have reached our destination quicker, we would have missed so much along the way.

Is this perhaps, in part, what Jesus was referencing when he said “unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Having said that, many of my older friends talk about once again having the opportunity to slow down and to re-connect with that sense of wonder as they have time to smell the roses, watch the sunrise or the sunset and sit quietly in contemplation. They talk about having a greater sense of freedom to choose what they will (and will not) give their time to.

Another way that we can help change the narrative about ageing is by taking the opportunity to find humour at all the ages in the ageing process.

Think of two-year-olds and their love of using the word ‘NO’. It can drive some parents crazy.

Or three-year-olds as they have a meltdown at the supermarket or the mall. That can be pretty hair raising for parents.

A campaign supporter for “Age Without Limits’ offers the following: “What I realise now is that what used to be old is not old anymore. The perception we had is that when you reach 60, that’s it. But now, I go to the gym and I see ‘old’ people. There’s an instructor who’s 73 years old.” (1)

And after all, in the book of Genesis, Sarah laughed when she heard she was going to have a baby, despite her being close to 90 years old.

The key thing to remember is that we go through a number of life stages and the phrase “this too shall pass” can be used at any age and stage for the situations we encounter.

So, to finish, while ageism is common it is not something that has to be accepted as an inevitable part of life – it is something that we all have the power to change.

Together, we can create a society where age is celebrated, and everyone, regardless of their age, can lead a life of dignity, respect, and opportunity.

Every age is an invitation from God to live into the fullness of God’s love in times of challenge and joy. Often, they intermingle.

And one final quote:

“Ageing is a gracious gift given by God to cause us to ask about and work on the real issues of life.” (4)

References:

1. https://www.agewithoutlimits.org/
2. https://www.asaging.org/
3. “On the brink of everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting old” by Parker J. Palmer.
4. Davies, J. (2008). A Practical Theology of Aging: Biblical Perspectives for Individuals and the Church. Christian Education Journal.